


From the Outside Looking In

by Moldie_Feelings



Series: Ghost Eyes DID AU [3]
Category: Ghost Eyes (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alters, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Flashbacks, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Rudy doesn't notice but also does but really ultimately does not, Stream of Consciousness, a lot of switching in one day, like half the story is Rudy thinking about 'the events of earlier today'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28678047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moldie_Feelings/pseuds/Moldie_Feelings
Summary: The AU but through Rudy's perspective as someone who thinks his maybe-friend is just coping with a bad day and sleep deprivation very poorly.Takes place during the "Tobias went to Rudy's house at four in the morning" section of the main canon story.
Relationships: Rudolph Richardson & Tobias Schneien
Series: Ghost Eyes DID AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1847185
Kudos: 10





	From the Outside Looking In

**Author's Note:**

> Writing a fic for this AU from the POV of a character that thinks Tobias is a singlet is something else entirely...  
> Anyway this takes place on October 30th (the day of the audition, the run-in with Emilio, and the whole "showing up to Rudy's house at four in the morning while Rudy was awake watching snuff films (or actual footage of actual violence) his abuser gave him way back in the day and then having a breakdown" sequence.  
> .  
> Disclaimer, at least for me if rapid switching happens everything is soup and no one remembers anything or is even half coherent, so I decided not to go fully from my experience and instead try for the general chaos of alters near front phasing in and out.

Rudy thought through the events that had just happened as he rubbed circled into Tobias’ back. Tobias was… weird. Not always in a bad way, just in a hard to decipher way. Weird in a “I still feel like I don’t know you because you change so drastically so often” kinda way (not that he could judge that hard, he was practically a different person with every mood swing). Some changes were more drastic than others, like all of today. Although that was probably his fault.

He still felt bad for pressuring Tobias into an audition.

He’d started off fine, reciting lines he’d only skimmed, before freezing suddenly and swaying on his feet. Fear had flashed through his eyes as he looked around the room, and he was hyperventilating. He had helped him finish the play and although they probably didn’t get the role, it was fun. Well, Rudy had thought so, anyway. Tobias had seemed okay until they got back to the bathroom and he’d sat down on the floor covering his face and sniffling.

_“Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry I pressured you,” Rudy had said. Tobias shook his head and hid his face even more._

_“I’m just remembering something that happened a while ago,” Tobias muttered. He was trembling._

_“Can I hug you?” Rudy asked._

_Tobias stayed silent. Rudy was about to apologize when he heard the soft reply._

_“Yeah, that’s okay.”_

Then he’d changed his mind again in the hug, a complete one-eighty.

_“This is bad.”_

_“What is, Tobias?”_

_“I can’t be hugging you,” he’d said. “This is— this isn’t-“ A deep breath, “…doesn’t like sharing. Sorry. I need to go. Have a good day.”_

He’d been interrupted form his _movies_ at four in the morning to find out Tobias had walked all the way to his house, and then he’d seemingly had another panic attack or some other experience at his doorway.

_Tobias blinked at Rudy, going from a half glare to a relieved shudder. He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath, and then another, and then another. He was skittish as Rudy took him indoors._

_“What’s wrong?”_

_“Nothing, nothing,” Tobias said. Then he rubbed his eyes again, seemingly out of place. His posture had changed to be meeker in those few seconds, a sad expression taking over him. “Nothing, nothing, it’s always nothing.”_

_“Tobias?”_

_Tobias pressed his hands to himself and frowned at the floor. “Nothing, nothing… hm? My apologies, dear, it’s been a turbulent evening… what time is it again? Eight?”_

_“…Four in the morning.”_

_“Four in the morning,” Tobias repeated, soft and surprised. “I thought… When did M- when did I go to bed?”_

_“Want to go to my room? We don’t need to leave for school for another two hours.”_

Adam almost killed Tobias and then Dad woke up and Tobias had absolutely panicked, voice cracking on almost every word as he had pleaded— when he found out who hurt Tobias he was going to… something. Maybe not like in his movies but just _something_. Then the fucking Bible verses, what was even up with that? And then Rudy had to turn off his movies as Tobias lost all that sharp edges that made him Tobias and the boy had looked around his room with some kind of wonder. Which… there had definitely been distaste in his eyes before, so he wasn’t sure what had changed Tobias’ mind.

And then just when he thought he could get some sleep in…

_“You-you know Emilio, right?”_

_Patience, Rudolph. Have patience._

_“Yeah, what about him?”_

_“Please tell me he knows how to give up.” The desperation in Tobias’ voice unsettled Rudy. He shuffled a little as if to maybe hear better._

_“What happened?”_

_“…I, uh…” Tobias sat up and the bed creaked with his movements. “I don’t fully remember, but he was going on and on about how perfect T- I am, and it was really unsettling, and then I woke up in the woods and he had a knife to my arm.”_

_“That’s where your stab wound is from,” Rudy said, sitting up to look at Tobias’ back. “I’m so sorry, this is my fault—”_

_“No, it’s my fault.” Rudy felt anxiety pool in his stomach. If this was Tobias’ fault then what would that make B- no, not the time. Focus, focus. “And if they found out I just let it happen- oh, no,” Tobias was hyperventilating again, shit. “I can’t. This is too much.”_

_“Do you want a hug?”_

_Tobias turned to face him then, tears streaming from his too-blue eyes. “I’m already in so much trouble,” Tobias muttered._

_“Hey, no, listen. Emilio chose to stab you. I can help you file a police report, if you want.”_

_Tobias averted his gaze._

_“That’s not everything? Um,” Tobias curled into himself a little. “He kissed me afterwards.” Tobias’ face was red with shame. “I’ve never been kissed before. Was it supposed to feel like that? It felt so_ bad _and_ wrong _and I just,” Tobias deflated. “It never matters when I say ‘no’ and I hate it so much. Please tell me he gives up or stops eventually. I can’t take_ another _one.”_

_Rudy hadn’t had anything to say, only offering another hug and muttering reassurances when Tobias practically collapsed into his arms and started crying._

“I’m sorry,” Tobias sobbed again, snapping Rudy out of his thoughts.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Rudy said. He smoothed out Tobias’ hair with his free hand. “Think you can try to take a nap for a little? You must be really tired.”

Tobias shook his head.

Rudy held back a sigh and instead hummed soothingly.

“That’s okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can try to pry the headcanon that Rudy has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) from my cold, dead hands and I still wouldn't let it go.  
> .  
> I know it's messy but please be nice, my mind is really foggy right now  
> .  
> For those curious as to who was fronting when (excluding the time it took where the switch was happening jarringly):  
> Audition/bathroom: Tobias, then Gretel who had no idea what has happening, then Mario mid-hug.  
> Arrival at Rudy's house: Tobias, then Nothingness  
> Almost falling down the stairs: Tobias  
> Rudy's Dad's semi-friendly aggression: Tobias and Gretel  
> Patching up: Tobias and Gretel, with Tobias mumbling prayer verses until he couldn't hold front any longer from the stress  
> Bedroom: Gretel  
> Not that Rudy knows. Maybe they'll tell him one day, maybe they won't. Depends on how omniscient the system thinks their abusers are.


End file.
